India Sound Bites


"20 Million people take the train in India every day" - lame explanation by Leela Concierge about why they didn't yet have our tickets

"pineapple pineapple pineapple" - vendor at Nandi Temple, Khajuraho

"Aspatagoose" (Asparagus) - Rachel Perl, tourist, Khajuraho

"This is a seatbelt" - Jet Airways flight instructions, as seat belts are not all that commonly known to Indians

"Shool pen" - common request of children begging

Manpreet - woman at Oberoi investigating our use of airport transfers and suspect in the events of 12-oct 4am

"No, I'm sorry sir, vee are manual here" - Jet Airways reception attendant, Khajuraho - when asked to confirm a FF number

"It's like cattle with degrees" - British guest at Alsisar Haveli, Jaipur, referring to Brides Wanted section in Sunday Times

"Barbie is an infidel slut" - Rick, re: news clip on a pious Barbie alternative (Razanne)

"Two Shahms are better than one" - Jenny, re: drivers at Alsisar

"Have we been to any place that's not crappy?" - Rick

"Nine queens, nine bedrooms // palace is a poke house // new city - low class" - Guide at Tiger Fort, Jaipur (Nhargath)

"Nice hat, but bad shoes" - Shoe vendor, Pushkar, Rajastan

(Windows chimes, AIM sounds) - used for announcements on PA's in airports and train stations

"We know where it is - right over there" (gesturing) - Referring to New Delhi train station at 5am on very nasty street, negotiating with autorickshaw driver

"Get this for your wife, she give you three kisses" - Jeweler, Agra

"What's that smell?" (Rick) "Hmm - I have an idea..." (Jenny, glancing) - Agra Train station

"Steek Kaart een zlot for multifoon" (Dutch sign - afterwards Jenny says "it's like they take English and then make it sound ridiculous)

Jennifer Das - name seen on a man's nametag at the Leela Palace. (Jennifer is not an Indian man's name either - I checked).  It wasn't a mistake either, he wore the nametag multiple days.